Another Day...
Another pregnancy announcement.
I feel like a complete bitch. Don't get me wrong - I'm happy for everybody, but sometimes it's difficult to be excited when everybody else is getting the only thing in the world that I want.
Chad tells me I'm being selfish. I don't really consider this being selfish. The one thing that both of us should be able to do (together!) is reproduce, but yet we are unable to do so without medical intervention.
I hate being jealous, but I guess it's just the nature of the beast.
Keeping up with the Jonses, Smiths, Greens, Browns...you get the drift....
I kid you not, the past week has brought more pregnancy announcements than I can count. I am almost getting to the point that I dread getting on Facebook.
Not to mention the hundreds of pregnant women who walk past my office during the week. Ugh!
This is my last month on Clomid. I'm on the highest possible dose. Honestly, I don't expect anything to happen. (Other than me feeling like complete shit, that is). I'm so thankful that tomorrow Chad receives his annual bonus, which will give us cash money to spend on assistance.
Whether or not we will start immediately or take a month off, I don't know. I do know that we are going to do the IUI with injectables once before we move along to IVF.
I only hope that we get our baby (preferably babies, but no more than two) sooner rather than later. With me turning 31, I know we aren't spring chickens any more. The older I get, the higher the risk.
I don't want to be seen by a perinatologist. I want Dr Heaps, period. End of sentence.
After everything that we have been through this past year, he is one of the few people that we could count on - to be honest with us, and steer us in the right direction.
So, here's to you, Dr Heaps! We both know we'd be lost without you. Hopefully we will be seeing you again sooner rather than later!!!!
I feel like a complete bitch. Don't get me wrong - I'm happy for everybody, but sometimes it's difficult to be excited when everybody else is getting the only thing in the world that I want.
Chad tells me I'm being selfish. I don't really consider this being selfish. The one thing that both of us should be able to do (together!) is reproduce, but yet we are unable to do so without medical intervention.
I hate being jealous, but I guess it's just the nature of the beast.
Keeping up with the Jonses, Smiths, Greens, Browns...you get the drift....
I kid you not, the past week has brought more pregnancy announcements than I can count. I am almost getting to the point that I dread getting on Facebook.
Not to mention the hundreds of pregnant women who walk past my office during the week. Ugh!
This is my last month on Clomid. I'm on the highest possible dose. Honestly, I don't expect anything to happen. (Other than me feeling like complete shit, that is). I'm so thankful that tomorrow Chad receives his annual bonus, which will give us cash money to spend on assistance.
Whether or not we will start immediately or take a month off, I don't know. I do know that we are going to do the IUI with injectables once before we move along to IVF.
I only hope that we get our baby (preferably babies, but no more than two) sooner rather than later. With me turning 31, I know we aren't spring chickens any more. The older I get, the higher the risk.
I don't want to be seen by a perinatologist. I want Dr Heaps, period. End of sentence.
After everything that we have been through this past year, he is one of the few people that we could count on - to be honest with us, and steer us in the right direction.
So, here's to you, Dr Heaps! We both know we'd be lost without you. Hopefully we will be seeing you again sooner rather than later!!!!
Diana- Men, at least in my experience, don't feel the same way we do. It's absolutely NOT selfish to be jealous/mad/sad etc. Infertility is just complete cruelty. Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. And don't feel bad for writing it down and getting it out. More people need to see the reality that is infertility so that hopefully more funding will be mandated for its treatment.
ReplyDelete-Liz