NIAW 2016

I have many friends and acquaintances that are not open with their infertility journey, and I completely respect their decision.  However, I cannot imagine going through it without my "tribe."  These are the people that were there for me every step of the way, that never judged my hormonal rants, and were my biggest support system.  I'm honestly not sure that I could have made it through without them.

Don't get me wrong - I totally understand the need for privacy, I just found that being truthful about it and getting it off my chest to be very helpful.  Some are embarrassed by it, and I can get that - I'm embarrassed that I cannot have a baby without help...I'm humiliated by the simple fact that my body doesn't do the one thing that it should do.  But I'm also proud.  

I look at my three beautiful babies and am in awe that along with physicians and medical technology, Chad and I made these amazing creatures.  The grew within me, and although I was completely miserable throughout both pregnancies, it was an absolutely amazing experience.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat.  These are three babies that are loved more than they could ever imagine.  They all have their days, and sometimes those days are at the same time, but they are pure perfection.   

How lucky am I?!  I have three amazing children after struggling to conceive for four years.  All the shots, medications, hormones, tears and procedures are still very fresh in my mind. I think that's something that I'll never forget.  The fact of the matter is that it was a very long road, but when I look at my kids, I know it was worth everything we went through.  

It never fails that I'm asked a question about the kids at the store:

"Are they twins?"  Yes, they are.  But sometimes when I'm feeling extra spunky I tell them they're triplets, because in a sense, they are.

"Are they identical?"  Well, one has a penis the other a vagina.  Besides that, one has blue eyes and the other brown.

"Those three are awfully close together - you do know what causes that, right?"  Yes, In-Vitro Fertilization.

I'm proud of what I went through - it's a badge of honor.  While I would absolutely love to get pregnant naturally, I know it's not in the cards for us.  We wanted these babies more than you can imagine.  I've noticed recently, particularly when meeting our new neighbors that when they ask about the ages I immediately tell them that they're all IVF babies.  Why?  Is it any of their business?

Nope, not at all. One, it definitely wards off the stupid questions and comments.  Two, you don't know who may be going through a similar struggle - they may need somebody to talk to.  I am that person.  I encourage you to find people that you are comfortable with and talking about what you are going through.  You never know who you may meet or how they may need you just as much, and perhaps more, than you need them.

One final note, because this is something my husband and I speak of frequently - there are, unfortunately, some people who think that IVF is wrong - that we are essentially playing God.  We have experienced this first hand with our friends.  One couple believes it is a sin and made us feel like complete heathens for doing this, but yet another couple that we both know of didn't make their journey common knowledge.  The one couple has never acknowledged that our children exist...NEVER.  This is somebody that my husband considered one of his closest friends, too.  The other couple that didn't 'publicize' their journey have been lavished with gifts from these people.  It's sad to think that something as trivial as this makes that sort of a difference. It shouldn't...

These babies are loved.  Those of us who go through fertility treatments are strong, determined people.  We want babies of our own and are willing to go through hell and back to make it a reality.  We love our kids more than you could ever imagine.

All this being said....don't suffer alone if you don't have to.  Talk to people, you'd be shocked at how many people have going through fertility treatments.  And, most people are impressed by the strength that we have to show to go through this.  Plus, what is one more person praying for you?  In this journey, the more prayers the better!