We are 1 in 8

As you well know, Chad and I are one of the 1 in 8 that are infertile.  Some people may try to argue that point, saying that we aren't as infertile as others because IVF worked for us the very first time.  To that I say, we were lucky.  We did all the research and chose the BEST clinic in our area with the highest success rates. We researched the physicians areas of expertise, and made sure that they had great knowledge of our diagnoses. 

What are our diagnoses?

Diana - grade 4 Endometriosis, luteal phase defect (LPD), diminished ovarian reserve (DOR), anovulation, and premature ovarian failure (POF)

Chad - abnormal sperm morphology

Getting pregnant was a two year ordeal.  We tried the good old fashioned way, Clomid, Clomid with Progesterone supplementation, and multiple IUI cycles before moving along to IVF. Given our circumstances, we were shocked when ivf worked the first time. 

I had a rough pregnancy, but it was worth everything I went through.  So many people get pregnant naturally after fertility treatments, but we are not that couple - our bodies (and age) work against us.  Due to our age and other extenuating circumstances, we decided to utilize our frozen embryos sooner than later. 

This is where it gets hairy, although in all honesty it got hairy before this point....

I'm beginning to feel like the infertility community no longer accepts me.  I'm merely an outsider looking in.  I'm not NORMAL, and cannot conceive without the help of modern medicine.  Yet some don't consider me INFERTILE, as I have Charleigh. I'm constantly being criticized for speaking my mind and showing the world what OUR story looks like.

This is a community that is using the theme "You are not alone" this year for National Infertility Awareness Week.  Yet here I am, alone.  Alone with nobody to talk to, without the support system that I had when I was trying to conceive Charleigh.  People are turning their backs on the very people that want nothing more than to encourage and support them.

Believe me, I know that infertility makes you bitter.  I know just how rough it is.  But the one thing that I've always preached (and practiced) is that I'm always there for 'you.'  It's getting exhausting putting myself out there all the time, when nobody is there for me.

It is hurtful when I am sought out to help with fundraising or help the association, only to be told that I'm not welcome to participate in activities because I have a baby and that is going to hurt other people.  

WHAT ABOUT ME?!

I hurt too.

There are many people out there still trying to conceive, people who have exhausted all their resources and have to put their dreams of being parents on hold.  I know they hurt.  I think about them every day.

This week is National infertility awareness week, and I want everyone to take a moment, step back, and think about the big picture.  Everybody who has experienced infertility knows the hurt and shattered dreams that it brings, but some people, even after the storm, are still suffering.   Perhaps they need a safe place to vent their feelings, or perhaps they just don't want to be alone.  Let's put on our coke-bottle glasses and realize that things aren't always as they appear.  

Show some support to those that are currently fighting that battle, and be there for those that have fought that battle and won.  Don't judge those who have been through this just because they have their miracle baby and you don't.  We are in this TOGETHER.  

Sometimes, we only have each other...