The Best Year
Y'all may probably remember when I bid farewell to 2013 I mentioned that it was easily the WORST year ever. And, for the most part it was. However, on October 7, 2013 around 1:42 pm CST we got the news we had been waiting for.
"Hi Diana, it's Patricia. Congratulations...you're pregnant!"
Simply amazing. We had been through hell and back the entire year and this was the first good thing to come from it. Starting on October 7th, 2013 our year (is it too nerdy to consider it OUR fiscal year?) got remarkably better.
I sit here today thinking about what all happened. How exciting and terrifying it was at the same time. How sick I was practically every day, and how miserable I was the majority of the time. How incredibly THANKFUL we were for the opportunity. Being pregnant wasn't one of my favorite experiences and I distinctly remember saying I was never going to do it again. {I also remember a Facebook status that said the same thing while I was I being induced.}. Now that it's all over and done, I can truly say that I miss it.
I miss having Charleigh all to myself - just her & I. I miss her rolling around inside of me and being the only person she'd kick or move for. I miss my belly. A lot. I definitely have belly envy. I miss having an excuse to eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
This past year has been one hell of an adventure.
But, while I sit here reminiscing of the wonderful things that happened last year I can't help but think of my friends that are still TTC. One friend recently found out her first ivf cycle didn't work. I think I was almost as crushed as she was. It took me back to all of those failed IUI cycles - all the hope you build up, how you put EVERYTHING into it and then the call...where it's all over. It's the worst feeling ever. Those were some of the darkest days of my life. We were very lucky to get pregnant on our first ivf cycle.
My heart still breaks for my friend. It makes me feel guilty for having my beautiful daughter. I feel like I shouldn't share her with the world because I know the pain. I know that pain more than you can imagine.
Another friend is getting ready to start her third and final ivf cycle. I'm praying that this is the last one she ever has to go through. We did our first ivf cycle together and were cycle buddies, but hers got cancelled due to poor response. She got a positive her next attempt and then miscarried. Her last attempt was negative. I want nothing more than this attempt to be in her favor. Though I've never met this girl in real life, I consider her one of my closest friends. She stayed by me through everything, even though I know how much she was hurting inside. That right there is the true definition of friend.
It's been an awesome year. One full of many memories and some of the best days in our lives thus far. I'm lucky enough to be snuggled in my bed with Chad, Cappy, and Willie; watching Charleigh June sleep in her bedroom on the video monitor. But I'm still think of y'all. I'm counting my blessings that you are letting me share in this journey with you and am able to be there when you need me, no matter how far away we are. As for Charleigh June, I'm counting her three times, because she is the MOST important person in my life. I'm a better person because of her.
Up next, a blog I've been wanting to write for a long time - The Afterburn. Stay tuned...
"Hi Diana, it's Patricia. Congratulations...you're pregnant!"
Simply amazing. We had been through hell and back the entire year and this was the first good thing to come from it. Starting on October 7th, 2013 our year (is it too nerdy to consider it OUR fiscal year?) got remarkably better.
I sit here today thinking about what all happened. How exciting and terrifying it was at the same time. How sick I was practically every day, and how miserable I was the majority of the time. How incredibly THANKFUL we were for the opportunity. Being pregnant wasn't one of my favorite experiences and I distinctly remember saying I was never going to do it again. {I also remember a Facebook status that said the same thing while I was I being induced.}. Now that it's all over and done, I can truly say that I miss it.
I miss having Charleigh all to myself - just her & I. I miss her rolling around inside of me and being the only person she'd kick or move for. I miss my belly. A lot. I definitely have belly envy. I miss having an excuse to eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
This past year has been one hell of an adventure.
But, while I sit here reminiscing of the wonderful things that happened last year I can't help but think of my friends that are still TTC. One friend recently found out her first ivf cycle didn't work. I think I was almost as crushed as she was. It took me back to all of those failed IUI cycles - all the hope you build up, how you put EVERYTHING into it and then the call...where it's all over. It's the worst feeling ever. Those were some of the darkest days of my life. We were very lucky to get pregnant on our first ivf cycle.
My heart still breaks for my friend. It makes me feel guilty for having my beautiful daughter. I feel like I shouldn't share her with the world because I know the pain. I know that pain more than you can imagine.
Another friend is getting ready to start her third and final ivf cycle. I'm praying that this is the last one she ever has to go through. We did our first ivf cycle together and were cycle buddies, but hers got cancelled due to poor response. She got a positive her next attempt and then miscarried. Her last attempt was negative. I want nothing more than this attempt to be in her favor. Though I've never met this girl in real life, I consider her one of my closest friends. She stayed by me through everything, even though I know how much she was hurting inside. That right there is the true definition of friend.
It's been an awesome year. One full of many memories and some of the best days in our lives thus far. I'm lucky enough to be snuggled in my bed with Chad, Cappy, and Willie; watching Charleigh June sleep in her bedroom on the video monitor. But I'm still think of y'all. I'm counting my blessings that you are letting me share in this journey with you and am able to be there when you need me, no matter how far away we are. As for Charleigh June, I'm counting her three times, because she is the MOST important person in my life. I'm a better person because of her.
Up next, a blog I've been wanting to write for a long time - The Afterburn. Stay tuned...
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