You Know You're a Mom When...
Regardless of what you wear you smell spit up.
Seriously, it doesn't matter how many times I bathe myself or Charleigh. Or change our clothes. All I smell is spit up. I call it Eau du Charleigh.
There's a poopy diaper in your bag, and you aren't even phased by it.
Yup. I remember the day I decided to change out my diaper bag, I hadn't been anywhere in over 24 hours. Much to my surprise I found a poopy diaper in my diaper bag. I honestly have no idea how long it had been in there, but at least it was in a deodorized baggie.
You wash your hair once a week.
I remember when I washed my hair daily. Then I got pregnant and I was far too tired to wash and style my hair on a daily basis. (Especially since I had to be at work around 0630) That ended up turning into washing my do every other day. Nowadays...I'm lucky if it gets washed twice a week. I always get a weekly washing in, but that's about all I can promise you.
You feel naked when you carry a real purse...
I was SO excited the night my in-laws watched Charleigh and let us go out for a nice dinner. I was even more excited about carrying my Coach. It felt really funny to carry a small bag, because I'm so accustomed to carrying a huge diaper bag filled to the brim with all the essentials.
And even naked-er without your baby.
Chad and I rushed through our dinner to get back home to our Princess that night. Last weekend I went to Walmart alone, while Chad watched Charleigh. Although it was nice not having to lug around that massive car seat, I felt like I was forgetting something. I became paranoid about being that crazy lady who leaves their kid in the hot car. Don't worry, though. I wasn't....
All conversations revolve around pee, poop, spit up, and sleep.
That's all my life entails these days. How many dirty diapers did we have, how many times I had to change Charleigh's outfit. And, how LITTLE sleep I'm actually getting. Ain't life grand?!
You instantly jump to worst-case scenario. (Oh, a clogged tear duct - must be some new cancer!)
It just happens that way. You have a little human to worry about. I try my darnedest not to worry about little things, but I worry. All. The. Time.
Even when you aren't holding you child, you know if that was a fart or something more.
The other night we were at our favorite bar. "Uncle Joe" was holding Charleigh and claimed that she pooped. I knew for a fact it was just a fart based on the smell that was wafting over my way. Joe, who has four kids of his own, claimed that she pooped because farts don't smell that bad. Hmph. Joe, you ain't smelled nothing yet. I gladly took the stinky baby from him and proved to him, by giving him a peek into her diaper that it was, indeed, ONLY A FART.
You find half full bottles in various places.
I was loading my car up for our trip to Illinois and found a half-full bottle of Nutramigen under the back seat. Those of you who know what Nutramigen is know that was bound to be one foul-smelling bottle. I honestly have no idea when it was left in my car. My guess is that it fell out of the diaper bag and decided it wanted to stick around and monitor the situation.
You know that whoever started saying, "slept like a baby" never had one.
I don't know about ya'll, but my baby doesn't really sleep. She doesn't take naps. (Doesn't she realize how important those naps are for MY wellbeing?) She may be quiet for six hours at a time, but I promise you she's not sleeping. She's whimpering and doing everything in her power to keep Chad and I awake.
Your 'uniform' is yoga pants and a tshirt.
Whether you're still fighting the baby weight or just want something comfortable because you're not quite sure what you're day will entail, yoga pants and a tee is the perfect ensemble.
Some days you don't even bother getting out of pajamas.
Who needs clothes? When you're exhausted and have no plans, pajamas are where it's at.
You long for a mani/pedi with your girlfriends, but miss your baby too much.
See above. Leaving the baby is TOUGH.
The diaper bag becomes the hottest accessory.
I have a Coach and an adorable Minnie Mouse one. Since that's the only accessory I can wear, I feel like I need more.
Whether you admit it or not, you judge other moms by products they use.
Oh...you use that?! You didn't get the fancy bottles? Uhhhh....
And how put together they look.
She's got her hair done? And is wearing makeup? And is seriously dressed like that? You can't see her roots. She MUST have help, because I sure as hell cannot bother to look that put together to go to Target.
Seriously, it doesn't matter how many times I bathe myself or Charleigh. Or change our clothes. All I smell is spit up. I call it Eau du Charleigh.
There's a poopy diaper in your bag, and you aren't even phased by it.
Yup. I remember the day I decided to change out my diaper bag, I hadn't been anywhere in over 24 hours. Much to my surprise I found a poopy diaper in my diaper bag. I honestly have no idea how long it had been in there, but at least it was in a deodorized baggie.
You wash your hair once a week.
I remember when I washed my hair daily. Then I got pregnant and I was far too tired to wash and style my hair on a daily basis. (Especially since I had to be at work around 0630) That ended up turning into washing my do every other day. Nowadays...I'm lucky if it gets washed twice a week. I always get a weekly washing in, but that's about all I can promise you.
You feel naked when you carry a real purse...
I was SO excited the night my in-laws watched Charleigh and let us go out for a nice dinner. I was even more excited about carrying my Coach. It felt really funny to carry a small bag, because I'm so accustomed to carrying a huge diaper bag filled to the brim with all the essentials.
And even naked-er without your baby.
Chad and I rushed through our dinner to get back home to our Princess that night. Last weekend I went to Walmart alone, while Chad watched Charleigh. Although it was nice not having to lug around that massive car seat, I felt like I was forgetting something. I became paranoid about being that crazy lady who leaves their kid in the hot car. Don't worry, though. I wasn't....
All conversations revolve around pee, poop, spit up, and sleep.
That's all my life entails these days. How many dirty diapers did we have, how many times I had to change Charleigh's outfit. And, how LITTLE sleep I'm actually getting. Ain't life grand?!
You instantly jump to worst-case scenario. (Oh, a clogged tear duct - must be some new cancer!)
It just happens that way. You have a little human to worry about. I try my darnedest not to worry about little things, but I worry. All. The. Time.
Even when you aren't holding you child, you know if that was a fart or something more.
The other night we were at our favorite bar. "Uncle Joe" was holding Charleigh and claimed that she pooped. I knew for a fact it was just a fart based on the smell that was wafting over my way. Joe, who has four kids of his own, claimed that she pooped because farts don't smell that bad. Hmph. Joe, you ain't smelled nothing yet. I gladly took the stinky baby from him and proved to him, by giving him a peek into her diaper that it was, indeed, ONLY A FART.
You find half full bottles in various places.
I was loading my car up for our trip to Illinois and found a half-full bottle of Nutramigen under the back seat. Those of you who know what Nutramigen is know that was bound to be one foul-smelling bottle. I honestly have no idea when it was left in my car. My guess is that it fell out of the diaper bag and decided it wanted to stick around and monitor the situation.
You know that whoever started saying, "slept like a baby" never had one.
I don't know about ya'll, but my baby doesn't really sleep. She doesn't take naps. (Doesn't she realize how important those naps are for MY wellbeing?) She may be quiet for six hours at a time, but I promise you she's not sleeping. She's whimpering and doing everything in her power to keep Chad and I awake.
Your 'uniform' is yoga pants and a tshirt.
Whether you're still fighting the baby weight or just want something comfortable because you're not quite sure what you're day will entail, yoga pants and a tee is the perfect ensemble.
Some days you don't even bother getting out of pajamas.
Who needs clothes? When you're exhausted and have no plans, pajamas are where it's at.
You long for a mani/pedi with your girlfriends, but miss your baby too much.
See above. Leaving the baby is TOUGH.
The diaper bag becomes the hottest accessory.
I have a Coach and an adorable Minnie Mouse one. Since that's the only accessory I can wear, I feel like I need more.
Whether you admit it or not, you judge other moms by products they use.
Oh...you use that?! You didn't get the fancy bottles? Uhhhh....
And how put together they look.
She's got her hair done? And is wearing makeup? And is seriously dressed like that? You can't see her roots. She MUST have help, because I sure as hell cannot bother to look that put together to go to Target.
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